Sacred Time

Time is precious.

It goes too fast.

We are all chasing it but just can’t seem to slow it down.

It’s sacred and it’s especially sacred when we know we don’t have much of it left.

I settled on the name Sacred Time for my business to highlight this important fact. We should make the most of every minute we have, even when we know time is about to run out.

I am an End of Life Doula (companion) who strives to make the most of that sacred time.  You’ve probably heard of Birth Doulas, EOL doulas serve on the other side of life helping people create the end of life experience and death they choose.

If you’ve ever journeyed with someone who was dying, you know it can feel chaotic and stressful – as if you are responding to one crisis after another hardly keeping your head above water. It can be nearly impossible for a caregiver to tend to things outside of the day-to-day responsibilities. There is only so much time and energy in a day.

The most peaceful death is one that is thoughtfully planned and carried out – delving into conversations that need to happen, advanced directives that need to be made, activities that bring the dying person and their family joy, addressing needs of caregivers who are tired, creating legacy projects that will make lasting memories like a photo book or recipe box, assisting with letter writing and coordinating help from neighbors, family and friends.

There is so much beauty in life. And this is also true when someone is on their final journey.

Dame Cicely Saunders, the founder of the hospice movement, is known for saying we will help you live until you die. Life shouldn’t stop after a terminal diagnosis but instead be lived to fullest.

What this looks like will certainly vary from person to person but the goal is to find what brings a person joy and peace and hang onto that.

This is a labor of love for me. I am so grateful any time I can bring joy to someone’s day by being present, discussing plans for the future and what a person might like the end of their life to look like. This could include who they would like to make medical decisions for them when they are no longer able, who they’d like to visit them in the coming months, weeks or days, what they’d like to accomplish before they are unable, how they’d like their room set up to be most comfortable and inspirational, and who they would like at their bedside when they are actively dying.

My passion for serving those at end of life was sparked by weekly visits to see a friend at a hospice facility who was suffering from ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). I quickly realized while she was receiving quality medical care, there were many other needs that could not be met by medical professionals. After my friend died, I became a volunteer at that same facility serving as a companion and sitting vigil when someone was actively dying. I have also spent time as a volunteer coordinator, training, supervising and matching volunteers with patients.

I decided to go deeper and received my certificate as an EOL doula from the University of Vermont Larner College of Medicine. Receiving my certificate reminded me of how important this season of life is for all of us and how it often gets overlooked because we don’t like to talk about it until we must.

I truly believe the more time we have to make our end of life good and meaningful the better it is for us and our family members.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Time lost is never found again.”

Time is sacred. While we can’t control how much we have of it, we can control how we use it.